I am afraid, I am not solid, but hollow. I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralysed cavern, a pit of hell, a mimicking nothingness, I never thought, I never wrote, I never suffered. I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb. I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions. I long for a noble escape from freedom - I am weak, tired… There is nowhere to go - not home, where I would blubber and cry, a grotesque fool, into my mother’s skirts…
Sylvia Plath x ()
()


When you take your pill
it’s like a mine disaster.
I think of all the people
lost inside of you.

Richard Brautigan The Pill Versus The Springhill Mine Disaster

()
Sometimes I come crashing down inside myself
without anyone noticing. I’m like an ambulance
on two legs, hauling the patient
inside me to last aid
with the wailing cry of a siren
and people think it’s ordinary speech.
Yehuda Amichai ()
()
She’d never understand me because I like too many things and get all confused and hung up running from one thing to another ‘til I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.
Jack Kerouac, On The Road ()
()

let me disappear like the foam on the ocean waves.

()
()
I no longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.
Victor, The Rules of Attraction ()
()

NOBODY EVER WANTED ME.

()
AND SO I LEAVE THIS WORLD, WHERE THE HEART MUST EITHER BREAK OR TURN TO LEAD.
()


Lady, three white leopards sat under a juniper-tree
In the cool of the day, having fed to satiety
On my legs my heart my liver and that which had been contained
In the hollow of my skull. And God said
Shall these bones live? shall these
Bones live?

()
We also talked of death— I perhaps more than you. It made me happy to think of the newly dead body being lowered into the coffin of the other. You found this idea impressive but terrible. I longed for your agreement and approval, wanted you to understand the hugeness of love. ()